Kolanaki

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

I have to admit, upon seeing the teaser for this I thought it was live action for some parts.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

There was no gameplay; it was just a tech teaser that showed a bunch of digitized actors looking super realistic (mostly).

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

All I can think of is a Donald Glover bit where he said he had a fear of someone just putting a gun on him and telling him to put his dick in his butt and came to realization he can just tuck underneath instead of trying to reach around his waist. So I’m incapacitated by laughter to think of my own times this has happened.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

They saw it was called Acquire, and so they did.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

I haven’t played the first to really compare them, but as someone who hasn’t really been into the old school Squaresoft style RPG for a long time: It’s fantastic.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

Factorio.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

Sometimes I feel like the only person in North America that actually liked Bubsy.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

looks like a blobfish that’s been brought to the surface

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

Can’t vouch for performance or technical stuff on PC, but I was checking out Lost Judgment on PS+ after hearing a lot about the Yakuza series and I’m loving it. It’s kinda like Shenmue, but with real, good combat and not QTEs. Or a Japanese GTA with all the extra side stuff you can do as you wander around the neighborhoods the game takes place in. I definitely want to check out the others in the series now.

Infinite looks just as good, but I am probably going to go backwards because I am not sure if I would like the new turn based combat system. I like the more Sifu-ish combat.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

It’s literally every game. The only thing being omitted is the how and why adding flavor and context to going from A to B.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

You can go to a virtual titty bar and see virtual titties.

Point A is not the titty bar and point B is the titty bar. That’s why it’s number 1. It’s also why you’re murdering everything in your way and trying to get to B as fast as possible. Because it’s a titty bar.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

Like Tetris or one of those Eye Spy games? Games where you go nowhere, or do nothing? Guarantee, you’re still moving something from A to B. Even if it’s just the mouse cursor.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

Best ending dialogue to a video game ever.

“It’s time to punch a mountain… Into space!”

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

If not for Planescape being on there I would have assumed they meant only more recent games. No Jade Empire. No KOTOR. Not even Neverwinter Nights or Fallout 1 & 2 or Icewind Dale. Let alone all the classic SSI Goldbox games or even Bard’s Tale (the original from the 80’s not that shit on Xbox).

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

I got bored with chess so I started playing Shogi. It’s the same thing, but different.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

I had no intention of getting it after finding out it’s less like Pokemon with guns and more like Rust with Pokemon, but a friend got it for me a few days ago.

I am already bored. I never got into shit like Rust or Ark before, either. The loop is the same, except with the addition of capturing critters to use as laborers in your base or to help in combat; not the sole means of combat and relying on them sucks because you don’t command them like you do in Pokemon but like you would in Elder Scrolls with AI about as smart. You level up to learn new tech that ultimately just helps you do higher level areas or lower level areas faster.

I think with most players it is just going to be forgotten in a few months; but the people who really like Rust and Ark and things like that, will keep Palworld going a long time because it is, at least on a technical standpoint, better than those and does have quite a lengthy tech tree to unlock. Plus it’s cuter.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

Too bad you can’t dodge or move out of the way for shit. And some of them (especially bosses and shineys) are so big, it fucks with aiming.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

With how the purple elk things (I’m so bad at remembering the names lol) double jump, I immediately thought of Torrent from Elden Ring. You can dodge on him (kinda) and doing it that way would at least feel like you’re not just taking a huge disadvantage by fighting mounted to control the attacks.

Kolanaki, 4 miesiące temu

Whoa what the fuck? How does it even work? It looked like you can control the direction the floor itself is moving the things on it (the way they are “force pushing” the box or when the old guy is in the chair) but it also looked like it wasn’t even moving, or uses power.

This shit looks like magic.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu (edited 5 miesięcy temu)

I had that thing. It did “work;” just not how you’d expect and not very well. Kinda like a PowerGlove. Games that didn’t require much movement were playable; but I got it because I figured I should be able to aim way faster in Counter-Strike with my mind than with my hands on a mouse.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

They get a cozy bed, a warm fire, and prepared meals to eat in exchange for their servitude. You can also catch them by sneaking or while they are sleeping and not need to hurt them. There are also caged ones in bandit camps you rescue and they join you; presumably willingly.

You could also just catch the bad humans that shoot you on sight and make a prison camp without resorting to enslaving innocent chibi animals. We all know humans suck anyway.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

The aesthetic is very similar, but the only thing I’ve seen that looked like it was straight up ripped off was a statue of a Lugia, the Lizard Punk dudes look very much like a creature from Final Fantasy, and the fact there is an area of the map that is the Altus Plateau from Elden Ring; like nearly 1:1 except the scale is smaller.

Everything else could just be chalked up to the fact the designs are pretty simplistic representations of real animals, but you can also see clear inspiration taken from a plethora of games even if they aren’t straight up duplicating anything.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

Basic? I built them things a stone castle while I sleep in a wooden shack. I eat nothing but berries and feed them the finest meats and cakes. They have a bath house that I can’t even use! My Kinguins live like kings!

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

To be fair, half the of them were already probably eating the other half before I showed up 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

They hated it because it fucking sucked, dude. Just one look at the final product and you can tell you how fucked up it is. You don’t even need to play it to see it sucks; that’s how bad it fucking sucked.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

If a car rear-ended me, I’m not sure it matters what I happen to be playing at the time. 🤔

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu (edited 5 miesięcy temu)

Lol “anonymous people.”

Plenty of reviewers whose face and name are in the lime light also said a lot of the same shit about it.

But of course the grifters are gonna try and grift the fact they were grifting once they’re caught and called out for being grifters.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

To be fair, in many of the GTA games, you’re not a bad guy. Sure, you break the law; but in almost every instance, the law is super corrupt anyway and you almost always end up working for said corrupt cops at some point because they have you by the balls.

Vice City is the only one I can’t really find any justification for the protagonists actions other than greed; and that one’s story is basically Scarface where you’re playing as Tony Montana.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

Most of the fads and AAA big sellers, really.

TLOU - Great story, don’t get me wrong; probably some of the best writing in games for it’s time. But the gameplay got super boring once every concept was introduced. The loop is just not satisfying, and exploration is more or less go check out the dead end before moving on, because the level design is so linear. This is more or less the same problem I have with most big AAA titles; they look great, have a good story, but are just so incredibly boring to play. You can tell the budget went entirely into graphics and voice acting, because the game itself feels more like an afterthought to those; it’s just there because otherwise it would be a movie.

Lethal Company - The game itself is pretty shit and tedious. What makes it fun is not the game, but how voice chat sounds when someone is being chased or getting eaten. 100% a game made for Twitch streamers where more people will be entertained by watching others play than playing themselves.

Palworld - I was interested by “Pokemon with Guns” and then I found out it’s more like Rust with Pokemon. I hate Rust and Ark all those kinds of survival PvP games. The genre itself has all the same weird jank, like everyone who has been copying the idea from DayZ or the like also copied every bug and bad idea, too; even the AAA made ones! They usually run like shit, are balanced like shit, and get so stale alone and are super frustrating in multiplayer unless you’re playing with a large group of friends so you’re not just being singled out for being all alone.

GTA:O - Specifically the online portion of GTA5 has made me never want to buy another GTA or rockstar game period. Not because the game play itself sucks, but rather because it’s extremely fun but the game doesn’t want you to have fun if you’re also making money. I can spend hours and hours doing all the activities that don’t earn you cash and have not one single issue other than maybe some other players trying to blow me up (especially if they are modding). But once that Mission Rep meter starts going up, hoo boy… The game starts breaking in all sorts of interesting but frustrating ways. Headshots stop killing in one hit, traffic starts behaving erratically and non-sensically (like straight sliding sideways at light speed to force a collision), triggers start breaking, the server decides to go down or get super laggy, etc. Since none of this happens in single player or while not doing activities that reward cash, and there is no other obvious function of the Mission Rep stat, I can’t help but think these are actually features put into the game on purpose specifically to slow down grinding so people will buy Shark Cards. The same kinda shit happens in RDR2:O, too.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

I want Disney to rethink removing Kyle Katarn from the canon because I hella wanna see a show or movie following him, if not another awesome FPS where I can be him. Kyle and Dash Rendar (another video game protagonist) are my favorite SW characters.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

4: Niko grew up as a child soldier and has basically been under the thumb of mob bosses his whole life. It’s also the ONLY game where you actually have choices in many cases to not kill someone as part of his revenge story (he wants to find and kill the man who sold out his unit in some war and got all his friends killed).

5: Franklin used to be a car thief, and has since gone straight as a repo man. His dumbass friends, along with Micheal and Trevor, get him caught up in all sorts of bullshit he doesn’t necessarily want to do, but doesn’t really have much choice. Micheal is also an ex-criminal trying to go straight, but having a much harder time at it than Franklin. His hot headedness is what got them into major trouble prior to Trevor’s arrival. Trevor is not only a bad guy and a psychopath, he could be considered the main villain of the game. Most of the plot revolves around Micheal trying to hide the truth from Trevor, because he knows Trevor is a fucking maniac and will possibly kill him and his entire family because he sold him out to the cops when they were bank robbers and Micheal wanted out of that life.

San Andreas: CJ is an ex-gang member who comes home to attend the funeral of his mother who was recently murdered. Things start out with him simply wanting to bring the killer to justice, and gets swept up in more gang violence, police corruption and even government conspiracies.

They’re as much bad guys as John Wick or John McClane or Arnold Schwartznegger in pretty much any of his 80’s and 90’s action films.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

To clarify here: It’s not really the game specifically; I just know it’s the latest example of the type of game and super popular atm. It might be the best game of that genre; I still don’t like the genre itself, which is why I’m not getting Palworld.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

Where’s the shareware from now? Where’s the always online single player games from then?

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

They were shitty for different reasons. Notice that nowhere on this meme is “shovelware.”

E.T. is always cited as the cause of the video game crash of '82, but it was really the rampart shovelware, no QA to speak of, and a lack of reviews to inform customers what was worth their money and what was absolute garbage. One bad game isn’t enough to topple an entire industry; especially one that is only slightly worse than the best game ever made for the Atari.

This problem was, however, mitigated a lot by Nintendo through the late 80’s and the entirety of the 90’s by creating the kind of licensing agreements between publishers and the console makers that still exist today, as well as the increase in review publications. Most of the best shit (from consumer friendly practices to the games themselves) from the industry came specifically in the 90’s thanks in part to actual curation of the software allowed to be sold for these systems.

At least you can easily determine shovelware from something worth your time when everything has reviews attached to the store page. Still sucks that you have to wade through all that bullshit, though.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

“Because it’s easy… And it does a lot of damage.”

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

I wasn’t exactly old enough to have experienced this, but I know there was a time that if you wanted to play a PC game, you didn’t buy it on a floppy or a disc; you got a book with code that you had to type up and compile yourself. If you did more than just follow the book, you could understand it and change it to be whatever you wanted!

This is why I wish everything was open source. If I don’t like the way something is done, I can tweak it. Any part of it and make it perfect for me.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

It was an option back then. They just know nobody would have accepted it then because

1. Not as many people had the internet, and
2. The internet that they did have sucked ass

There were still plenty of online-only games. They just had a damn good reason to be online. Always-online in single player isn’t needed as DRM. There are plenty of other DRM options that don’t use the internet at all or at least only check once in a while when you do have a connection to the Internet.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

The closest I got was learning that the TI-85 I used in my algebra classes had BASIC programming in it, and I found the code for a rogulike dungeon crawler kinda like Eye of the Beholder specifically for the calculator. At the time, I already knew plenty of BASIC myself so I could tweak things as I found bugs or generally didn’t like the stats of an item.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

I was playing video games on my homebuilt computer in the 90s. I know exactly what it was like.

So was I. And so do I.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

It’s cool; I brought my own:

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/94dd3f1a-b92a-4a6b-9673-c36cb6e4fdf1.jpeg

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

Lost Judgement.

It was on PS+ while I had the service so I tried it for the brawler part but it’s like a good anime with a murder mystery plot, it has elements of GTA and Phoenix Wright mashed together with a brawler, and the story is focused on a high school so you get to beat the ever-living snot outta bratty teenagers which is really cathartic.

And despite the serious tone of the main plot, the game is very goofy and over-the-top (again, it’s like playing an anime; complete with all the tropes you’d expect from an anime) and has me laughing my ass off pretty regularly. I had to actually buy a copy because I have barely scratched the surface of it and I’m not renewing my PS+ sub any time soon. Sucks that I got it on sale and the one DLC that adds content is twice as much as what I paid for the main game, cuz I know I will end up wanting it lol

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

Travel is gonna become boring if you have to travel the same road multiple times in the course of the game even if you have a bunch of cool stuff along that road. Eventually, I won’t give a shit about that stuff since I’ve seen it a million times. So I would hope there is still some kind of fast travel to go between places I have already been if the world is super big. Otherwise it’s just gonna feel like you’re padding the game for time to inflate a 10 hour story to take 40 hours to finish.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

I tried the first one when someone told me it was like Dark Souls with better coop. Felt more like Monster Hunter than Dark Souls tho. While not bad, it wasn’t what I was looking for.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

Whoa. It looks like a bat. Not like the horse head nebula, which looks more like a headless human to me.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

Turn the moon into a billboard by projecting images on the side that faces Earth.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

Steam link doesn’t work for external games added into your steam library?

Yes it does. I dunno about the hardware unit, but the android app alone works with everything you have on Steam; even the non-Steam games. Just fired up The Outer Worlds Spacer Choice edition given away on EGS some weeks back added to Steam as a non-Steam game through Steam Link on my phone.

It even straight up streams your desktop, so you can launch games not even running through Steam.

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/46e921c6-6697-439e-baed-5f1e834fb5bb.jpeg

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

It took me way too long to solve the first, easy ass puzzle in this game. It’s dark. You can’t see anything. And your head hurts.

Solution? Open your freakin’ eyes.

Kolanaki, 5 miesięcy temu

To be fair, GTA 5 is in a fictional version of LA, in a fictional California. California has state funded free medical insurance. Which is great for when you get shot in a drive-by or at school; just like the game!