Kolanaki

Kolanaki, rok temu

Because this is about the 4th recent trailer I’ve seen playback at this weird slow frame rate: is it just me? The Death Stranding 2 trailer was also slow and choppy like this but it was super early footage so I just assumed it was from that, but now I’m wondering if a setting is messed up on my browser.

Kolanaki, rok temu

This kinda stuff makes me wonder how animations work that they can do all that without it being done on purpose.

Kolanaki, rok temu

The only numbers I dislike in games are the kind that fly off things when you attack them. That shit is visually annoying and I hate every game that uses it without an option to turn it off outside of old turn-based JRPGs. So I totally understand that.

They’re not meaningless, per se, but most of the time you also have a gauge indicating health and it’s far less distracting than a ton of numbers flying off obscuring the action.

Kolanaki, rok temu

So they really did copy Sea of Thieves. 🤔

Or is it even worse than that was on launch?

Kolanaki, rok temu

The real SMB2 was on Super Mario All-Stars for the SNES and I gotta say… The reskinned Doki Doki Panic is a better game.

Kolanaki, rok temu

Even back then, when you jumped onto the first enemy and just… Stood on them instead of killing them was pretty different.

Kolanaki, rok temu

Curious about something, I installed Dragon’s Dogma since I had it from sometime it was given out free. It wasn’t what I thought it was. I must’ve confused it with this other game because I’m actually getting into DD here. Still no clue what the name of the game I was confusing it for is though.

Kolanaki, rok temu

That’s the thing; I’m not even sure they had a similar name. I had thought that Dragon’s Dogma was this Monster Hunter knock-off built on the Source engine. I didn’t care much for it so just wrote it off until I saw a video on DD2 which also showed the first game and made me go “huh… That’s not what I remember.” lol

Kolanaki, rok temu

Street Fighter feels better as a competitive game and Mortal Kombat has always felt more button-mashy and arcade like.

I never really liked Mortal Kombat’s game play over Street Fighter because of this. I’ve continued with Street Fighter to modern times, but having not really cared for it back with the original trilogy, I haven’t touched modern MK games much.

I do however like the lore and story for the MK games way more than SF. I watch all the movies and anime and stuff; those are way more fun for me than the games lol

Kolanaki, rok temu

Didn’t Aragorn have to tell those ghost dudes he was the king to get them to fulfill their oath? 🤔

Kolanaki, rok temu

I kinda figured those rumors were bullshit. They may be secretive, but Fromsoft still wouldn’t just quietly release a major dlc for one of the biggest titles they’ve ever made.

Shit must be massive for it to take this long, though, without much news other than a title, and two updates that they are still working on it.

Kolanaki, rok temu

Is this why the site was down for maintenance almost all day the other day? I just wanted to log in and see if I owned a game on there or not and was getting time out errors most of the day. Tried in the evening and loaded to a message about extra maintenance because they were migrating to a new system (and still couldn’t log in to check anything).

Kolanaki, rok temu

I have to admit, upon seeing the teaser for this I thought it was live action for some parts.

Kolanaki, rok temu

There was no gameplay; it was just a tech teaser that showed a bunch of digitized actors looking super realistic (mostly).

Kolanaki, rok temu

All I can think of is a Donald Glover bit where he said he had a fear of someone just putting a gun on him and telling him to put his dick in his butt and came to realization he can just tuck underneath instead of trying to reach around his waist. So I’m incapacitated by laughter to think of my own times this has happened.

Kolanaki, rok temu

They saw it was called Acquire, and so they did.

Kolanaki, rok temu

I haven’t played the first to really compare them, but as someone who hasn’t really been into the old school Squaresoft style RPG for a long time: It’s fantastic.

Kolanaki, rok temu

Mickey Mouse is about to get a Victory Royale.

Kolanaki, rok temu

Factorio.

Kolanaki, rok temu

Sometimes I feel like the only person in North America that actually liked Bubsy.

Kolanaki, rok temu

looks like a blobfish that’s been brought to the surface

Kolanaki, rok temu

Can’t vouch for performance or technical stuff on PC, but I was checking out Lost Judgment on PS+ after hearing a lot about the Yakuza series and I’m loving it. It’s kinda like Shenmue, but with real, good combat and not QTEs. Or a Japanese GTA with all the extra side stuff you can do as you wander around the neighborhoods the game takes place in. I definitely want to check out the others in the series now.

Infinite looks just as good, but I am probably going to go backwards because I am not sure if I would like the new turn based combat system. I like the more Sifu-ish combat.

Kolanaki, rok temu

It’s literally every game. The only thing being omitted is the how and why adding flavor and context to going from A to B.

Kolanaki, rok temu

You can go to a virtual titty bar and see virtual titties.

Point A is not the titty bar and point B is the titty bar. That’s why it’s number 1. It’s also why you’re murdering everything in your way and trying to get to B as fast as possible. Because it’s a titty bar.

Kolanaki, rok temu

Like Tetris or one of those Eye Spy games? Games where you go nowhere, or do nothing? Guarantee, you’re still moving something from A to B. Even if it’s just the mouse cursor.

Kolanaki, rok temu

Best ending dialogue to a video game ever.

“It’s time to punch a mountain… Into space!”

Kolanaki, rok temu

If not for Planescape being on there I would have assumed they meant only more recent games. No Jade Empire. No KOTOR. Not even Neverwinter Nights or Fallout 1 & 2 or Icewind Dale. Let alone all the classic SSI Goldbox games or even Bard’s Tale (the original from the 80’s not that shit on Xbox).

Kolanaki, rok temu

I got bored with chess so I started playing Shogi. It’s the same thing, but different.

Kolanaki, rok temu

I had no intention of getting it after finding out it’s less like Pokemon with guns and more like Rust with Pokemon, but a friend got it for me a few days ago.

I am already bored. I never got into shit like Rust or Ark before, either. The loop is the same, except with the addition of capturing critters to use as laborers in your base or to help in combat; not the sole means of combat and relying on them sucks because you don’t command them like you do in Pokemon but like you would in Elder Scrolls with AI about as smart. You level up to learn new tech that ultimately just helps you do higher level areas or lower level areas faster.

I think with most players it is just going to be forgotten in a few months; but the people who really like Rust and Ark and things like that, will keep Palworld going a long time because it is, at least on a technical standpoint, better than those and does have quite a lengthy tech tree to unlock. Plus it’s cuter.

Kolanaki, rok temu

Too bad you can’t dodge or move out of the way for shit. And some of them (especially bosses and shineys) are so big, it fucks with aiming.

Kolanaki, rok temu

With how the purple elk things (I’m so bad at remembering the names lol) double jump, I immediately thought of Torrent from Elden Ring. You can dodge on him (kinda) and doing it that way would at least feel like you’re not just taking a huge disadvantage by fighting mounted to control the attacks.

Kolanaki, rok temu

Whoa what the fuck? How does it even work? It looked like you can control the direction the floor itself is moving the things on it (the way they are “force pushing” the box or when the old guy is in the chair) but it also looked like it wasn’t even moving, or uses power.

This shit looks like magic.

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I had that thing. It did “work;” just not how you’d expect and not very well. Kinda like a PowerGlove. Games that didn’t require much movement were playable; but I got it because I figured I should be able to aim way faster in Counter-Strike with my mind than with my hands on a mouse.

Kolanaki, rok temu

They get a cozy bed, a warm fire, and prepared meals to eat in exchange for their servitude. You can also catch them by sneaking or while they are sleeping and not need to hurt them. There are also caged ones in bandit camps you rescue and they join you; presumably willingly.

You could also just catch the bad humans that shoot you on sight and make a prison camp without resorting to enslaving innocent chibi animals. We all know humans suck anyway.

Kolanaki, rok temu

The aesthetic is very similar, but the only thing I’ve seen that looked like it was straight up ripped off was a statue of a Lugia, the Lizard Punk dudes look very much like a creature from Final Fantasy, and the fact there is an area of the map that is the Altus Plateau from Elden Ring; like nearly 1:1 except the scale is smaller.

Everything else could just be chalked up to the fact the designs are pretty simplistic representations of real animals, but you can also see clear inspiration taken from a plethora of games even if they aren’t straight up duplicating anything.

Kolanaki, rok temu

Basic? I built them things a stone castle while I sleep in a wooden shack. I eat nothing but berries and feed them the finest meats and cakes. They have a bath house that I can’t even use! My Kinguins live like kings!

Kolanaki, rok temu

To be fair, half the of them were already probably eating the other half before I showed up 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki, rok temu

They hated it because it fucking sucked, dude. Just one look at the final product and you can tell you how fucked up it is. You don’t even need to play it to see it sucks; that’s how bad it fucking sucked.

Kolanaki, rok temu

If a car rear-ended me, I’m not sure it matters what I happen to be playing at the time. 🤔

Kolanaki, rok temu (edited rok temu)

Lol “anonymous people.”

Plenty of reviewers whose face and name are in the lime light also said a lot of the same shit about it.

But of course the grifters are gonna try and grift the fact they were grifting once they’re caught and called out for being grifters.

Kolanaki, rok temu

To be fair, in many of the GTA games, you’re not a bad guy. Sure, you break the law; but in almost every instance, the law is super corrupt anyway and you almost always end up working for said corrupt cops at some point because they have you by the balls.

Vice City is the only one I can’t really find any justification for the protagonists actions other than greed; and that one’s story is basically Scarface where you’re playing as Tony Montana.

Kolanaki, rok temu

Most of the fads and AAA big sellers, really.

TLOU - Great story, don’t get me wrong; probably some of the best writing in games for it’s time. But the gameplay got super boring once every concept was introduced. The loop is just not satisfying, and exploration is more or less go check out the dead end before moving on, because the level design is so linear. This is more or less the same problem I have with most big AAA titles; they look great, have a good story, but are just so incredibly boring to play. You can tell the budget went entirely into graphics and voice acting, because the game itself feels more like an afterthought to those; it’s just there because otherwise it would be a movie.

Lethal Company - The game itself is pretty shit and tedious. What makes it fun is not the game, but how voice chat sounds when someone is being chased or getting eaten. 100% a game made for Twitch streamers where more people will be entertained by watching others play than playing themselves.

Palworld - I was interested by “Pokemon with Guns” and then I found out it’s more like Rust with Pokemon. I hate Rust and Ark all those kinds of survival PvP games. The genre itself has all the same weird jank, like everyone who has been copying the idea from DayZ or the like also copied every bug and bad idea, too; even the AAA made ones! They usually run like shit, are balanced like shit, and get so stale alone and are super frustrating in multiplayer unless you’re playing with a large group of friends so you’re not just being singled out for being all alone.

GTA:O - Specifically the online portion of GTA5 has made me never want to buy another GTA or rockstar game period. Not because the game play itself sucks, but rather because it’s extremely fun but the game doesn’t want you to have fun if you’re also making money. I can spend hours and hours doing all the activities that don’t earn you cash and have not one single issue other than maybe some other players trying to blow me up (especially if they are modding). But once that Mission Rep meter starts going up, hoo boy… The game starts breaking in all sorts of interesting but frustrating ways. Headshots stop killing in one hit, traffic starts behaving erratically and non-sensically (like straight sliding sideways at light speed to force a collision), triggers start breaking, the server decides to go down or get super laggy, etc. Since none of this happens in single player or while not doing activities that reward cash, and there is no other obvious function of the Mission Rep stat, I can’t help but think these are actually features put into the game on purpose specifically to slow down grinding so people will buy Shark Cards. The same kinda shit happens in RDR2:O, too.

Kolanaki, rok temu

I want Disney to rethink removing Kyle Katarn from the canon because I hella wanna see a show or movie following him, if not another awesome FPS where I can be him. Kyle and Dash Rendar (another video game protagonist) are my favorite SW characters.

Kolanaki, rok temu

4: Niko grew up as a child soldier and has basically been under the thumb of mob bosses his whole life. It’s also the ONLY game where you actually have choices in many cases to not kill someone as part of his revenge story (he wants to find and kill the man who sold out his unit in some war and got all his friends killed).

5: Franklin used to be a car thief, and has since gone straight as a repo man. His dumbass friends, along with Micheal and Trevor, get him caught up in all sorts of bullshit he doesn’t necessarily want to do, but doesn’t really have much choice. Micheal is also an ex-criminal trying to go straight, but having a much harder time at it than Franklin. His hot headedness is what got them into major trouble prior to Trevor’s arrival. Trevor is not only a bad guy and a psychopath, he could be considered the main villain of the game. Most of the plot revolves around Micheal trying to hide the truth from Trevor, because he knows Trevor is a fucking maniac and will possibly kill him and his entire family because he sold him out to the cops when they were bank robbers and Micheal wanted out of that life.

San Andreas: CJ is an ex-gang member who comes home to attend the funeral of his mother who was recently murdered. Things start out with him simply wanting to bring the killer to justice, and gets swept up in more gang violence, police corruption and even government conspiracies.

They’re as much bad guys as John Wick or John McClane or Arnold Schwartznegger in pretty much any of his 80’s and 90’s action films.

Kolanaki, rok temu

To clarify here: It’s not really the game specifically; I just know it’s the latest example of the type of game and super popular atm. It might be the best game of that genre; I still don’t like the genre itself, which is why I’m not getting Palworld.

Kolanaki, rok temu

It was an option back then. They just know nobody would have accepted it then because

1. Not as many people had the internet, and
2. The internet that they did have sucked ass

There were still plenty of online-only games. They just had a damn good reason to be online. Always-online in single player isn’t needed as DRM. There are plenty of other DRM options that don’t use the internet at all or at least only check once in a while when you do have a connection to the Internet.

Kolanaki, rok temu

The closest I got was learning that the TI-85 I used in my algebra classes had BASIC programming in it, and I found the code for a rogulike dungeon crawler kinda like Eye of the Beholder specifically for the calculator. At the time, I already knew plenty of BASIC myself so I could tweak things as I found bugs or generally didn’t like the stats of an item.

Kolanaki, rok temu

I was playing video games on my homebuilt computer in the 90s. I know exactly what it was like.

So was I. And so do I.