In 2008, someone did the math. Just from 2 years of Wii sales, just the hardware, not the games, Nintendo could stay afloat for 163 years based on the ecconomy at the time.
So, lets adjust for inflation that we know it is today, and call it 110 years.
I don’t think it’s been 110 years since 2006. I could be wrong though. Covid screwed up everybodies internal clock.
I mean…I feel like that’s enough, honestly. Jack Black voiced Bowser just because he can sing. Chris Pratt voiced Mario…for reasons I still don’t understand.
I was never a Charles Martinet fan, and Capt Lou Albano is dead. But at least Arin IS a voice actor. Shit, he could probably do what The Simpsons and Family Guy do, where one guy voices like half the characters.
He could do Mario, Toad, DK JR, and Sugar Bear. I know Sugar Bear isn’t a Nintendo property, but fuck it, ya know? Have you seen him voicing Sugar Bear and Granny? I could legit watch a weekly 30 minute cheaply animated show where they keep having Sugar Bear steal Grannys cereal.
Although I do think he, and JackSepticeye, and Markiplier and Danny Sexbang all spread themselves a tad thin at times. Taking on too many projects at once.
I can’t blame them though. Their lives look fun. Basically they wake up and get to ask themselves “Ok, what stupid shit do I want to do today?”
And then we get the 10 minute power hour, where they learn to do cirque del soil, or they order a bunch of kit kat flavors from amazon.
I’d be much fatter, but much happier if I was told "Your job today is to eat chocolate in the morning, and at 3pm you’re going to talk in silly voices working for Nintendo.
Back in the early 1980s fresh off the video game crash of 1983, Nintendo was on the verge of releasing the Famicom in Japan, and needed a way to market the console in America.
There was just one rule. In America, video games were dead. A fad. Disco was dead, and so were video games. So it wasn’t a Famicom. It was a Nintendo Entertainment System.
In stores like Woolworths (think Walmart but not terrible) and Hills (think Target, but also a bit shady) they tried marketing the NES as an Entertainment system. It wasn’t a video game. It was an appliance. Like a VCR. It was the only way to get stores to agree to stock the damn thing. No store wanted the risk of a video game.
Well, after a year of selling, and research Nintendo found kids were the main target of their product.
So they shifted away from the electronics section and into the toy isle. There was just one problem. Toy stores in America were divided. Some isles carried toys for boys, and the other half of the isles carried the toys for girls.
A bit of market research showed that interest in Nintendo shifted slightly more towards boys. 55%‐45%.
What happens next is the key to the PS2 ads.
Nintendo chose to carry the NES in the boys section of the toy isles. Which had an IMMEDIATE influence over not only the marketing in America, but also the direction developers took their games.
There was a clear shift towards the games AND the marketing being geared towards boys 5-13.
Nintendo then DOMINATED the video game landscape. Seriously. If your mom today is roughly 80 years old, theres a pretty good chance she calls all video games “Nintendos” (regardless of brand), the same way she calls all tissues “kleenex”. Or if you’re from the south (especially Georgia) all soft drinks “coke”. Could be orange soda, it’s a coke. Just like it’s one of those Xbox 1080p Nintendos.
Well by the time of the PS2 days, that influence, even though Sony had nothing to do with it, had caked over. Video games were now very male centric, and the age range grew up with them.
In the late 80s, you were 5 years old playing super mario bros. In the mid 90s, you were 13 playing tomb raider and argueing with friends over the validity of a nude cheat code. And by 2001 you were 18 and horny, and…hey, look at these ads for the PS2. They’re edgy!
And that is my TedTalk on why raunchy dreamcast ads, and raunchy PS2 ads goes all the way back to the atari 2600 game crashing the whole industry worldwide 20 years earlier.
Please tell me it’s a sequal/spinoff to the Super Mario Bros movie.
And please tell me Arin Hanson voices the role of Donkey Kong JR.
Now, in case you’re confused about which one DK JR is, there was a 1982 game called “Donkey Kong JR”. It was a sequal to the 1981 game game “Donkey Kong”. He also made an appearance in the SNES game “Mario Kart”.
And then we never heard from him again.
The Donkey Kong in Donkey Kong Country is actually Donkey Kongs grandson. Which would make Cranky Kong the original DK…AND THUS THE COOLEST!!!
Shredder never even has defined plans. Now granted, I was a kid in the 80s. If the new series is different, I don’t know. I didn’t even see the micheal bay movies. I saw the original cartoon, the first 3 movies, and the “coming out of our shell” tour.
Shredder always just kind of showed up, and maybe robbed a jewelry store. Or kidnapped April and that skinny news reporter guy.
There never seemed to be a plan. It was always just vague “do crime and evil shit…”
Then they introduced the mafia, who for some reason just liked tickling everybodies feet.