I have heard similar complaints about performance from my friends, and I have solved most of them by simply suggesting they check their fans. Not just case fans, but the GPU/CPU, too. Check that they’re actually spinning and getting adequate airflow. Unplug and then vacuum them. You’d be surprised how much of a difference that can make.
I play exclusively female characters, and also go for the F/F romance when possible. I think it started with fighting games, because female characters were usually faster, and some shooters actually have smaller hitboxes for female models, so there are are actual advantages. But yeah, I’m mostly with you, to the point where my GF laughs at my characters always looking like me with boobs. We’re playing through Elden Ring together now, and I’m playing a (F) dex spellblade and she is making a (M) tank with a bonking stick.
Finally got around to playing F.E.A.R. 1 & 2, now going through the DLC for 1, having a great time despite it definitely showing its age with some design choices, like the mandatory valve puzzles of early 2000’s. I’m so glad I bought the RTX 4080 though, definitely getting my money’s worth.