Good luck, I also bought it on recommendation and did not enjoy it. If you’re curious why let me know, I don’t want to shape your opinion on the game with my opinions.
I know I’m late but I had that same issue with finding out how to demolish roads (I ended up looking it up). Ironically my most recent obsession with it, where I sunk 30 hours in a week, is also my 2nd time giving the game a chance.
I think my initial complaint was the controls for playing with a controller. Coming back to it with keyboard and mouse was great. If you have any questions let me know, sometimes you gotta set it down and come back to it.
Demolish roads is a small red button below the row of buildings. You should see the roads button that looks like a bunch of lines, and to the right of it should be the small red demolish roads button.
Average playtime without side quests I’ve seen about 60 hours. I’m at 40, there’s 8 characters, and I’ve only been focusing on 4 of them. My playtime may be off, though, because there were a few times I left it paused for a few hours.
If you like old school, but new, games I have to recommend Octopath Traveller 2. I started it 3 days ago and already have 30 hours with no signs of slowing down.