I shared a similar post some time ago, but deleted it while cleaning up my old content. I decided to repost it for newcomers and as a personal record of my sugar dating experiences.
There are many ways to approach sugar dating, and everyone is looking for something different. This is how I personally handle it.
What I Look For in a Sugar Relationship
I prefer a relationship that feels like traditional dating, but with clear boundaries and financial support. I value:
Attraction: Mutual physical and personal attraction is important.
Attention: We should prioritize each other, communicate reasonably, be punctual, and avoid frequent cancellations.
Affection: I appreciate affection beyond intimacy, such as holding hands, cuddling, and spending time together.
Appreciation: Showing gratitude encourages generosity and mutual respect.
While sugar dating isn’t usually aimed at marriage or starting a family, I hope to build a strong friendship and meaningful connection.
We stay in touch when apart but respect each other’s privacy and personal lives. Like any healthy relationship, there should be chemistry, trust, and mutual respect.
Dating Style and Expectations
Our time together should include normal activities such as dining out, cooking together, watching movies, traveling, and relaxing. Intimacy should feel natural, not forced.
Neither of us should feel taken advantage of. The arrangement should be fair and enjoyable for both sides.
Communication and First Steps
After confirming mutual interest, I prefer to move conversations to text. After some initial chatting, I suggest discussing financial expectations and planning a casual first meeting.
If someone seems nervous or unsure, I reassure them that it’s normal. I encourage honesty instead of ghosting and am open to rescheduling if needed.
Meet and Greet (M&G)
The first meeting is a platonic, unpaid Meet and Greet in a safe public place, such as a café or restaurant. This gives us a chance to get to know each other.
I cover all date-related expenses, including transportation. If needed, I’ll arrange a ride, using a convenient pickup location rather than a home address.
I don’t offer payment for the first meeting. However, if things go well and mutual interest is clear, I usually give a small gift at the end.
Requests for money before the Meet and Greet are an automatic deal-breaker.
Financial Arrangements
I prefer to discuss financial expectations at or shortly after the Meet and Greet, once we’ve confirmed mutual interest. If someone prefers to discuss it earlier, I’m open to that.
I usually start with pay-per-meet (PPM), along with a general idea of how often we’d like to see each other. The arrangement officially begins with the first private meeting.
If someone isn’t comfortable with intimacy right away, I’m open to additional platonic dates. If genuine interest is shown, I usually offer a small gift.
Initial payments are given in cash, either openly or discreetly, depending on comfort level.
Each date stands on its own. Neither of us is obligated beyond the agreed meeting and arrangement.
Either person can end the relationship if it no longer meets their needs.
Long-Term Arrangements
After building trust and consistency, we may discuss moving to a weekly allowance. This isn’t meant as an incentive, but as recognition of a stable, evolving relationship.
By this stage, we usually have regular overnight stays, clear expectations, and mutual trust. If we were meeting weekly under PPM, the allowance would be higher and reflect more frequent time together.
When both people genuinely enjoy the relationship, everyone benefits.
Gifts and Extras
I enjoy giving thoughtful gifts on my own. However, frequent requests for extras - especially early on - are discouraged.
I’ve had three long-term sugar relationships, each lasting over a year, including one that lasted more than four years. I remain friends with all of them.
I believe these relationships were positive, respectful, and beneficial for everyone involved. We each grew and improved during our time together.
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