“But I promise that you’re going to be blown away by the promising I’ll be doing in the future. My promising will be authentic, intuitive, life-like and indistinguishable from the real thing. This is promising like you’ve never experienced before, and these are promises they will still sound assuring twenty years after they’re made. I’m so proud of the team for the work they’ve done on this and I’ve promised them a pay rise, holiday in Bora Bora and a blowjob from a $10000-a-night hooker with a mouthful of warm honey. That’s the kind of promises I’m talking about, promises that will change the way we think about promises and, if you have a moment, I’d like to make you some promises too…”